Jewish Community News

Rabbi's Column : September 2008

Rabbi's Column: Getting to the Heart of the Matter
By Rabbi Aaron Schonbrun
Congregation Beth David

    How do I make the most out of the High Holy Days? This question is one that I get every year. And to tell you the truth, usually, I am the first one to ask it of myself! The process of engaging in cheshbon hanefesh (self-introspection) and teshuvah (repentance) can seem very daunting and overwhelming. Sometimes we are moving so fast, and distracted by so much in life, that it is extremely difficult to create time to focus on simply being and growing. But this type of focus is exactly what is required of us during this season. And while there is no one “correct” answer to the question of how we can gain the most out of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, it starts with the recognition that these holidays are a gift. On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur we must remember that we are being given an opportunity to create the quiet space necessary for change, and a reminder that G-d created each of us with the ability to improve ourselves. On these Yamim Noraim (“awesome days”) we are given a chance to literally turn ourselves (teshuvah), in multiple directions, towards our neighbors, towards G-d, and inward towards our own souls, in an effort to become better than we were the year before.
     But intellectually understanding the underpinnings of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is not often the problem. Many of us have been taught about the lessons of these holidays throughout our lives and there are a variety of books on the subject. The question is—how do we get there?  What concrete actions can we take throughout these High Holy Days to seriously take advantage of this opportunity to change ourselves? Is sitting in services for hours on end really going to help?  The answer is: Yes—if we are willing to do the hard work necessary to engage in the life transforming and affirming process of teshuvah. It is true that services can often feel long and that it is often hard to stay focused during the High Holy Days. But we must learn to use the liturgy and the lengthy amount of time spent in Synagogue to our advantage. The following are a few suggestions that I would encourage you to use throughout these High Holy Days in an effort to get to the heart of the matter, and allow yourself to emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually engage with the process of teshuvah.
1.  Get to services early. Allow yourselves the time necessary to take this process of change and self-transformation seriously.
2.  Don’t worry about what page we are on. The person leading services will take care of that. As we are going through the service take time to carefully look at the liturgy and engage with the prayers on the page. During each service, take some time to find one or two prayers that speak to you in that moment and ask yourselves the following questions: What does this prayer mean to me? How can this prayer help me in the process of teshuvah?
3.  Allow yourself to get lost in the music of the service. Music can be an extremely powerful force that can touch your soul and help you to focus on the task at hand. Close your eyes, listen, and sing even if you don’t know the words.
4.  Ask questions. If a question comes up in your mind during the day, discuss it with your neighbor after services, or come to your Rabbi to discuss it. You can also always call or e-mail after the High Holy Days to follow up on what you were thinking about.
5.  Take time to seriously engage with the Torah and Haftorah readings. What do you like about them? What do you struggle with? Why do you think that they were chosen to be read on this day?  Perhapsmost importantly, what do they have to do with your life?
6.  When you are distracted in services (and that’s okay—it happens to all of us), the following questions may be helpful: What are the top three things that I would like to change about myself for this coming year and what do I need to do to begin this process? Where are the places that I have committed a chet and literally “missed the mark” (often translated as “sin”) this past year and to whom do I need to apologize?
7.  Take some time to look at the G-d imagery that is portrayed throughout the liturgy, Torah, and Haftorah readings. Ask yourselves: How do you feel about the way G-d is being described? What do you believe about G-d? Where is G-d in your life right now?
8.  During the Yizkor service, allow yourself to remember your loved ones who are no longer with you. Open up your heart to let their memory in. How did they influence you? In what ways are you keeping their memory alive?
9.  Cut this list out and bring it with you—hopefully it will help!!

Getting to the heart of the High Holy Days is not an easy task. But it is opportunity that we cannot afford to waste. Life is too precious to simply go through the motions. We must take time each year to reflect on our lives, taking a personal inventory of our actions, and striving to live out the promise, hope, and possibilities that come with change. Jane-Rachel and I wish you all a Shanah Tovah U’metukah! May it be a good and sweet new year!