Jewish Community News

Obituaries: September 2008

Obituaries

With a song in her heart:
Beverly Rae Auerbach Pressman
February 26, 1949 – July 20, 2008
Perched on the piano in the Pressman home during the family’s week-long Shiva Minyanim were a triptych of black-and-white snapshots of a vivacious 19-year-old-girl, taken by a loving husband. In the three poses were encapsulated Bev Pressman’s singular qualities. The first, compassionate and warm. The second, curious and intelligent. The third, whimsical and witty. In the 40 years since these photos had been made, Beverly Rae Auerbach Pressman had matured, but, in these aspects, had not changed. And when
she died at 59, following a courageous battle against uterine cancer, these qualities shimmered in the air as husband, children, brothers, parents and friends mourned her loss.
   Bev’s funeral took place on the Fast of Tammuz (Sunday, July 20).  It seemed most fitting that this was a Day of Mourning on the Jewish calendar. In the hush of the Beth David sanctuary, Rabbi Daniel Pressman’s colleague, Rabbi Aaron Schonbrun, turned the minds of the mourners away from the tragedy of her death to focus on the vibrancy of her life.
    Rabbi Schonbrun spoke of her intellectual accomplishments as the valedictorian of her high school in Van Nuys, a cum laude graduate in American Studies from Barnard College in New York City, recipient of a master’s degree in teaching from Cal State Domingues Hills, and a second bachelor’s degree, in music, from San José State University.
    He recalled her skill as an elementary school teacher in both Jewish and secular schools. Bev played a key role in the growth of Yavneh Day School (first located at Beth David), as well as developing the Kinderservice and the Chaverim service for the synagogue’s youngest members. Echoes of Bev’s lilting soprano accompanied an image of Bev singing a lullaby to Becky, her youngest (the same lullaby she had sung to her younger brother Jeff when he was little).
    Friends reminisce with great affection Bev’s ability to be a good counselor. Susan Gavens says, “Bev was nonjudgmental.  Bev set high standards for herself; but at the same time, she was realistic of human frailty and the pressures of the world.  Bev saw the positive in most situations and taught me to do the same.  Each time I was with her, I always left her presence a better person because, unbeknown to her, she reminded me again to see the good in everything/everyone and at the same time to maintain my own integrity.”
     Ann Tavan recalls, “Bev didn’t want to be just the rabbi’s demure wife and social partner, but a person in her own right. Thus she contrived ways to sing in choirs without violating Shabbat, staying in a hotel to walk to Saturday performances.  She taught school.  She went to Yosemite with the Boy Scouts. She was the most gracious lady we have ever met.  She was always doing something for someone.  She was always there with a cheerful smile or a cup of tea and a shoulder to cry on — depending on your needs, not her own, right until the end.”
     Ann’s husband Rick remembers her determination: “I have never met anyone who handled both the good and the bad parts of life with such cheer, grace, compassion and skill. She simply loved life, all of it. She lived her life with vigor, enthusiasm ... and a sense of perspective. On our last vacation trip with her (Hawaii, last October) she was determined to get in the ocean with mask, snorkel and fins and see once more the beauties of the undersea world. She had the courage to try and the wisdom to stop at the right time.”
    Sandy Mayer, who considered Bev “my best friend for the last 27 years,” was a stalwart aide not only to Bev but to the entire Pressman family through Bev’s long ordeal. She says.  “Bev taught by example.  She was the first to make chicken soup when someone in my family or the community was sick; the first to offer to make brownies for a simcha. For many years Bev and I would go walking on Shabbat afternoon. Bev was supportive and caring and generous with her time.  I felt blessed that I was able to be a friend, support and comforter for Bev, especially during her illness.  Our friendship deepened and we gave each other strength.  I know I am a better person because of Bev.  I will always carry the lessons she taught me and hopefully pass them on to others.”
    Rabbi Daniel Pressman, to whom Beverly had been married for 40 years, compares her to “the multi-faceted Eishet Chayil: tending to the affairs of her household, running a business, active in the community, admired for her wisdom and generosity. In particular Bev embodied the words, ‘She opens her mouth with wisdom and a lesson of kindness is on her tongue.’ Of course, Bev had her joke about this. When I came to the words, ‘She opens her mouth,’ she would open her mouth.  The word “chayil” expresses courage, strength and competence. During her long illness, we saw all of these qualities in a new light. Not that there weren’t moments of tears and sadness, but she never allowed the relentless progress of the disease to define her life or to change her nature. She continued to give to others until her very last day.”
   Rabbi Aaron Schonbrun, who joined Congregation Beth David as Assistant Rabbi four years ago, comments, “When Jane-Rachel and I sat down with the Pressmans the weekend we first visited Congregation Beth David, Bev was a kind and gracious host to us, incredibly warm and honest about what life was like as a rabbinic family in this community. She helped us understand that this would be a place we could call home. I will remain forever grateful to her for quietly guiding us to choose this community. I feel blessed that she was in our lives, even if only for such a short time.”
    Almost everyone in the Jewish community of the South Bay knew Beverly Pressman, and those who knew her well loved her deeply. It is in their hearts and memories that she lives on.

Jan Engel
Jan M. Engel died on June 9, at his home in San Jose surrounded by his family following a stroke at the age of 84.  He was born in 1924 in what was then the Free State of Danzig, which today is Gdansk, Poland. At the outbreak of World War II, Engel was attending school in England and was unable to return home.  During the war years, he was an air raid warden, diamond cutter, Polish translator, and later worked on a secret radar project for the British government. 
       He immigrated to the United States after the war, received his M.Sc. in Physics from the University of Pennsylvania and became a U.S. citizen in 1951. He worked for General Electric and Pacific Semi-Conductors before joining IBM in 1958 where he spent the rest of his career in research physics.   Later he was instrumental in developing the APL computer language. 
      One of Engel’s main passions and achievements in life was researching the “kinology” of the Engel Family, inventing his own program to show complicated family relationships and finding hundreds of new relatives. He authored many papers on physics, APL and Jewish genealogy, registered several patents and published the exhaustive genealogical work “The Engel Family.”
      He was one of the cofounders of the Jewish Film Festival in San Jose, and on the board in its early days. 
    Engel’s wife, Janet Greenky, and brother, Marcel Engel predeceased him by many years.  Mr. Engel will be deeply missed by his daughter, Karen Engel, living in Graz, Austria, his son Stephen Engel, of Sacramento, his granddaughters Janina and Milena, his sister Ilona Engel and brother-in-law  Randall Travis of Waterbury, Vermont, and his longtime friend and companion, Sharon Grandfield, of Des Plaines, Illinois, as well as many relatives and friends.   According to his wishes, Mr. Engel will be buried in Buffalo, New York alongside his late wife.  The memorial service was held on July 18 at Chai House, in San Jose.  Donations can be made in Jan’s memory to the Jewish Genealogy Society or a charity of your choice.