Jewish Community News

News: February 2008

Teen and preteen girls celebrate Rosh Chodesh together

Being a teenage girl these days isn’t easy—even if you’re from a middle or upper class Jewish home in the Silicon Valley. Cliques, magazines, make-up and body image issues reach girls from even the best of homes. To help counter unhealthy magazine and celebrity images and the stress of being a tween or early teen (and also because it’s fun) some 30 girls meet each month at the APJCC at the Levy Family Campus. They sing a few Jewish songs, chat with each other, eat snacks, touch their toes and talk a little about how annoying it is that some girls come to school wearing short skirts and makeup.

The group, Rosh Chodesh: It’s a Girl Thing!—was started by Jane-Rachel Schonbrun as a joint initiative of Congregation Beth David, Congregation Shir Hadash, Congregation Sinai, and Temple Emanu-El with funding from a Jewish Federation Opportunity Grant.  This program is part of a national outreach designed to help girls build self-esteem during the vulnerable preteen and teenage years. The national movement, run by Moving Traditions, is funded by the Hadassah Foundation.
    The group aims to both teach girls a little bit about the new Jewish month and to address critical preteen issues including body image, healthy relationships and sexuality.
    Moving Traditions claims this type of program is needed based on disturbing national statistics including: thirty percent of nine-year-old girls are afraid of being fat – just when they are entering puberty and are filling out;  close to 20 percent of ninth-grade girls – and 51 percent of 12th grade girls – are sexually active;  23 percent  of 9th grade girls binge drink; and almost 25 percent of sexually active ninth-grade girls had used alcohol or drugs during their last sexual intercourse.
    “All the research out there shows that this transition going from kids to adolescence is a very critical time impacting their sense of themselves as girls and as young women,” said Schonbrun. “A lot of the curricular material has the girls discuss and talk through some of these critical issues, including gossiping and friendship, body image and the media, and peer pressure.”
    Adds Schonbrun, “I think it’s generally understood that these are challenges facing these girls but they are under addressed in traditional academic settings.”
Rosh Hodesh: It’s a Girl Thing! is anything but a traditional academic environment. On a recent Sunday afternoon at the Levy Family Campus in Los Gatos, all the chairs and tables are removed from three activity rooms so that the girls can sprawl out on the floor. While still being respectful of others, no one is expected to raise their hand, spit out gum or follow other standard school place rules. Girls eat during the class, play their ipods during break and are allowed to goof around within reason.
    “It’s not boring like religious school is sometimes,” said Rachel Steinberg, 12. “In religious school you have to raise your hand, and here it’s more fun and exciting.
Adds 12-year-old Hayley Sneiderman, “You actually learn more because you’re not just reading from a book.”
    “I’m not here to learn stuff,” admits Yifat Amir, 12 “just to make some Jewish friends.”
     During a Sunday class in December, the topic of Hanukkah celebrating the rededication of the Holy Temple quickly moved to how our bodies are temples and the subject of body image. Each girl received a handout with a series of quotes and had a turn to say which one they like the best and why.
     Twelve-year-old Juliana Uro-May chose the quote, “Come to view your body as an instrument for life, not an ornament for others.”  Why she liked this one? “All these girls in my school just focus on what they wear and how they look, but they don’t do their work and they’re probably going to have a hard time because looks aren’t everything.”
     Several girls nod in agreement. But this isn’t a therapy group. Juliana is not asked how she feels about this, or asked to elaborate. Rather the group leader moves on to Tali Perelman, 12.
     Said Tali, “There’s this quote I like that ‘you can’t get hurt if you don’t let people hurt you’. Like, if someone says something mean they’re probably not worth listening to anyway.”
   Danielle Platt, 13, said she likes the quote, “Count your blessings, not your blemishes. “
     Parents have different reasons for
sending their daughters. Angelica Amir wanted a non-religious environment where her 12-year-old daughter Yifat could make friends with Jewish girls. “I’m Israeli and I found that being a member of synagogue didn’t fit, in a way, my background since I’m not religious, on one hand, and my daughter knows Hebrew better than kids who were born in the U.S.,” said Amir. “But still I appreciate the Jewish, social need. Definitely in a group where all the girls are Jewish, she can express herself fully about what she believes.”
   Toby Adelman recently moved to the area from Marin County. While also new members of Congregation Beth David, Adelman enrolled her 11-year-old daughter Shy in Rosh Chodesh as a way to make new friends and gain more Jewish exposure. “As a newcomer to the area, it’s just an opportunity to make another circle of friends, and not be totally dependent on her public school friends to be her whole circle,” said Adelman. “And I’m thrilled that [peer pressure, cliques, body image and other preteen issues] is part of the program. That’s what makes it different from showing up in Hebrew School and being a part of those cliques.”
   Adelman adds that as a member of Congregation Beth David, she appreciates Shy having the opportunity to connect with Jane-Rachel Schonbrun (wife of Beth David Rabbi Aaron Schonbrun).