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Jewish Community News

News: June 2006

Local love blooms on trip to Israel
By Laura Rheinheimer

When Beverly Friedman finds time, she cultivates colorful tulips in the front yard of the Sunnyvale home she shares with her husband Alan. The house is set at the end of a quiet dead-end street; the couple sits in the sun-stricken living room on a Tuesday afternoon.

Alan, 60, and Bev, 59, met thirteen years ago in the fall on a trip to Israel organized by Congregation Shir Hadash, led my Rabbi Melanie Aron. They waited ten years to bring their vows under the huppah.
Even though neither Bev nor Alan went on the trip looking for a partner, they were pleasantly surprised to find a companion in each other.

“I wanted to see the land of Israel,” said Alan, who lived in Fremont working as a clinical psychologist at the time. He chose the Shir Hadash group because there were more people from his age group and fewer couples.

Bev, on the other hand, had invited her then-husband to join her on the trip; he declined. She and her husband separated shortly after. She wasn’t deterred from going to Israel.

“I called up my mom and said, ‘I’m going to Israel, want to come?’ and she said, ‘when?’” Bev said.

Bev said that for her, going to Israel was liberating. It was the first trip she’d ever done on her own.

“I felt free to do what ever I wanted,” Bev said.

Perhaps it was the warm breeze over the ancient ruins of Cessaria, or the early morning view of the Dead Sea from the top of Massada, but on that 10-day trip, the roots of friendship began to grow for Alan and Bev. They climbed Massada with four others early in the morning while the rest of the group took the lift.

“At that point she was just kind of a pal,” Alan said.

Even in those early stages of their acquaintance, they seemed to complement each other.

“I knew history and Bev knew archaeology; it made it very interesting,” Alan said.

Even today, the two fill in the other’s sentences and bring in memories to complete a story.

After the trip had concluded, Alan didn’t even wait until he got back to California to give Beverly a call. While he was in New York visiting relatives, he called to suggest they get together.

“I thought it’d be fun to get together and go over pictures,” Alan said.
They started to see each other a few weeks after Alan arrived back in California.

Ten years after they first met, Alan and Bev married. On October 19, 2003, the two wed at the Shir Hadash campus in Los Gatos, led by Rabbi Melanie Aron, the same woman who had led them to Israel.
They had a small ceremony with around 50 friends and family members. “Some people said it was about time,” Alan said.

Because both Alan and Bev had been married before, they wanted to be very sure about getting married. Alan said he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to marry again.

It wasn’t until seven or eight years into the relationship that they started considering vows.

“We were very content and very happy,” said Bev. “Then it started to make sense for both of us.” Although Alan said Bev had to warm up to the idea.

Alan and Bev each have a son and a daughter; Bev said her oldest son made a toast at the wedding joking about how long the couple waited before they got married.

Alan said he dated in the five or six years between getting divorced and meeting Bev. He signed up with an East Bay Jewish singles group for a couple of years, but didn’t find anyone special.

“It was really quite awkward to be frank,” Alan said. “Nothing really worked out.”

“I didn’t go to any singles group; I went to a Jewish singles group, and that was intentional,” Alan said. Even though he was open to dating non-Jews, it was important for him to find somebody with matching values.

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